Freedom is a Tempting Thing
by avaatquevale2250
Summary: A one-shot to accompany my story, Fighting Fate. This is the first time Apollo actually notices Addie, from her POV. Some mature content, but no detail.


"My lady, I really don't need to go. It is too much of a kindness-

"Nonsense, Euadne. You did fine work today. You deserve a reward, and this will be it. Come, help me with this tiara."

I walked over to Hera, taking the tiara from her hands. She watched me through the reflection in the mirror as I straightened it on her head. I knew how I looked- I was covered in dirt, in a rag of a dress that I worked in. One of Hera's prized cattle had escaped, and it was my job to find it before a monster did. Truth was that it didn't want to come home.

"Are you be courted by anyone?"

For a moment, I tensed. Did her son count? I tested the thought- I in no way thought what Ares was doing to me constituted courting. I shook my head, relieved that it stayed pain free. Hera brushed me away, looking at her reflection in the mirror.

"I insist that you go. Everyone will be there. What will you wear?"

I took a deep breath, trying my best to keep my voice from shaking. "I only have rags, Lady Hera. I can't conjure clothes very well."

She turned in her seat, eyeing me up and down. Hera tilted her head thoughtfully, looking at me like I was a charity case. I had no desire to attend the party. I wanted to crawl in my bed with hope that Ares wouldn't summon me. I had been lucky the past few weeks, and I prayed it stayed that way.

Hera snapped her fingers, and my rags transformed into a beautiful navy dress. The dirt and grime on my body was gone, polished to perfection. My hair was in its usual waves, pulled to one side with a jeweled pin.

"That will have to do," she sighed as she handed me a mask. It was beautiful, but I barely had time to examine it before Hera ordered me to follow her. As we walked towards the party, the dread in my stomach doubled. I didn't want to be here. Gods knew Ares would be drunk, and if he saw me, it was likely to end in a way I didn't want.

"Good gods, put on your mask child." I scrambled to follow her command, but Hera's eyes were elsewhere. Zeus was getting pretty friendly with Ganymede, and Hera's eyes narrowed as she started to glow. "Do not leave this party unless I give you permission or someone else pulls you, understand?"

"Yes, my lady," I muttered, but she never head my reply. She had run off after her husband. Now I was stuck at this party.

I hadn't made a lot of friends on Olympus. The ones that I had would not be here, and I found myself wondering around. I spotted Ares all over Aphrodite near the nectar. There was a good chance that it would stay that way. I wanted to be out of his sight at all times. I ventured to the edge of the dance floor and leaned against a column, watching the couples dance. I always enjoyed dancing, but I seldom got the opportunity to. Bear wasn't a big dancer. He'd always have people to talk to, and I couldn't keep my brother away from a possible match. It had been almost nine hundred years, and it still hurt. I still missed them, all of them, but I forced myself to stay in the present. I needed to get a grip. As I watched the dancers, a few suitors had asked me to dance, but I politely declined. I had no desire to find a companion, and if Ares found out, I didn't want to imagine what he'd do. Maybe he didn't care anymore…it had been weeks since he had summoned me…

A girl could hope.

"Notus, I'm busy."

"Alectrona, I'm just asking for a dance!"

"Maybe later."

I tilted my head, watching the couple argue. I recognized the pair of them: Notus, the god of the south wind, and Alectrona, the goddess of the morning. He had been chasing after her for years from what I've heard, but he never managed to get a hold of her. He cheated on her with a nymph (what's new), and he had tried in vain to win her back. It was hard for a god to stay true to themselves, which made it even more difficult for them to stay true to a partner. I watched the defeat in his face, the pain in his eyes as she brushed him off and walked away.

Notus had a reputation on Olympus- he was teased mercilessly by the gods for trying to get back with Alectrona. They didn't understand, but I thought it was rather romantic. He was trying, wasn't he? Shouldn't that count for something? I was walking over to him before I even realized what I was doing.

"Lord Notus," I murmured as I curtsied in front of him. He looked up at me, and I saw the disappointment on his face. "I know this may be bold, but you should find someone else to dance with. She won't know what she's missing out on until you show her. Just my opinion."

I turned to leave, but Notus grabbed my arm. "You're saying I should make her jealous?"

I carefully extracted myself from him, in a way to not be rude. I nodded my head, "It will drive her insane. Women are jealous creatures when it comes to the ones we love."

"Would you mind doing me the honor?"

Notus held out his hand, but I couldn't take it. No one would want to dance with me if they knew who I was.

"I don't think I'm the best choice for that, Lord Notus-

"Nonsense. You are a wise friend, and that deserves all the honor in the world. Please?"

My lips turned up slightly as I took his hand. Notus pulled me out to the dance floor, and I was thankful that Ares was no were in sight. He spun me around effortlessly, and I saw Alectrona staring furiously at the pair of us.

"You know my name, but I don't have the pleasure of having yours," Notus remarked with a sly grin as he caught his lover's gaze.

"It's Euadne, my Lord."

"Poseidon's child? The cursed one?"

I nodded my head, the familiar dread coursing though me. His hand tensed up slightly, but it was a curious look that appeared on his face. I figured he would tell me to be gone, but he just pulled me a little closer. "I'm sure you've heard stories about me."

"I have, but not from the ones you may think," he remarked. I looked up at him questioningly, but the song ended, and he took my hand, placing his lips softly on the back of it. "You live up to your reputation."

"Am I interrupting something?"

I looked up, curtsying quickly. Lord Apollo, one of the council who had control over me, was smiling at the pair of us. His hair was the color of hay, a perfect golden yellow, and his eyes a light brown, almost tan. His face was perfect, his skin a golden glow. He was the most attractive on the council, which is probably why he had so many lovers.

_ "_Not at all, my Lord. Just telling Euadne here what a fine dancer she is," Notus lied easily_. _Heat rose to my cheeks, embarrassed at the comment and his words. Did that mean he thought of me as a decent person, not the evil traitor I was cast?

"You are too kind, Notus," I offered quietly.

"I would like to test that myself. Dance with me."

Apollo held out his hand, and I stilled. I couldn't say no, the way he said it sure sounded like a command. I nodded my head, taking his hand in my own. It was so warm, like the sun in the middle of summer, and it felt so good. It brought back a thousand good memories: Ry and I playing in the fields, lying out in the gardens with Bear...

He was an excellent dancer, but why shouldn't he be? He was known for being able to charm anyone into falling for him. Most of the council treated me like a worthless slave, but he was looking at me like he actually saw me.

"You are a fine dancer, Euadne. Where did you learn to dance?"

I stared at his chest, trying to keep from looking at his face. I didn't want to appear too happy. I shivered at the thought of Ares, and I didn't know if I had the strength to deal with him tonight. I just had to act distant.

"I taught myself. Fighting is not that different from dancing, Lord Apollo. It's all about being able to move with your partner."

I looked up and our eyes locked. His eyes were so…pretty. They were the most interesting color, swirls of light brown and amber tones, like the sun. They did something funny to my stomach, and I didn't like the way it felt. He cleared his throat, his eyes darting from my own. I looked anywhere but at him, and I smiled at seeing Notus and Alectrona talking quietly together.

"Hera seemed pleased with your latest assignment," he broke in. I turned towards him, the sly smile staying on my face.

"Yes, my Lord, she was. She let me attend this party as a reward."

"You don't sound as though you wanted to come," he mused.

"Whether or not I wanted to come is irrelevant. Lady Hera wished it, so I am here."

"Well, you look absolutely stunning."

He was smiling down at me, and I returned a small one. It quickly vanished as I saw my worst nightmare tap Apollo on the shoulder as the song ended.

"I need to borrow Euadne. Are you using her for anything important?"

I tried to fight the shaking. I couldn't say no to Apollo, I didn't flirt or anything close, and I didn't even want to! But I saw the look in Ares's eyes. It didn't matter if I was ordered. My hand was still in Apollo's, and that was crossing the line.

"Come, Euadne. I have not got all evening," he commanded, turning around. Apollo turned towards me, and I pulled my hand from him as Ares shot me a glare over his shoulder. I bowed to him, knowing the worst was yet to come.

"Thank you for the dance, Lord Apollo."

I followed Ares off the dance floor, and once we were out of the party, he grabbed my arm, dragging me to his quarters on the other side of Olympus. I knew better than to say anything. If I opened my mouth, I would only make him angrier. He opened his door with a flicker of his hand, tossing me in the room front of him. I lost my balance, falling to the floor. I tried to right myself, but Ares towered over me, his look of rage all I needed to know. I froze in place, my eyes locked on my own version of Tartarus.

"What exactly did you think you were doing?"

"He asked me to dance. I didn't have a choice-

He was on me in an instant, his hands pinning me to the floor.

"Have you given yourself to him?"

"N-no, my Lord," I struggled to say to him. He pressed his body against mine. I closed my eyes, wondering what I could have done different.

"Look at me." I followed his command, staring into the flames of his eyes. "You have displeased me, Euadne."

"My Lord, I –

"Enough. Why were you here?"

"Your mother told me I had to come. I was trying to stay out of sight…I didn't want to dance with him."

"Oh, Euadne. You deny my hand, but you'd take my half-brothers?"

I shook my head, trying to explain. I started to speak, to plead with him to leave me alone, but he placed a finger at my lips. I hated what I had become. I use to be so strong, but now, I was just a whimpering mess, resorting to begging to save my sanity.

"Has he made you an offer?"

I shook my head. Ares looked at me, like he was trying to figure out my motive. His hand reached down, grabbing my dress, lifting it up. A low whine came from my throat, and Ares chuckled, his hand gripping into my now exposed hip. There was no use fighting it. If I did, he'd just order me to stop. It was less painful this way, which was a small concession to something that was going to hurt like hell either way. That's what nine hundred years had taught me.

I didn't have a choice anymore, and this was one of the few ways I did.

"You wanted my attention," he whispered as his lips brushed my neck. "Now you have it."

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I sat on the floor, my knees pulled up to my chest. It felt like someone had carved out my heart. I was an empty vessel, an automaton following orders. I heard Ares moving around the room, no doubt straightening his clothes so he could go back out to the party. I buried my head against my knees, wishing that this was just a nightmare, and that I would wake up, the terror all over. I could hear his footsteps coming towards me, felt his presence beside me.

Ares reached out a hand, stroking my cheek, but I instinctually flinched. I hated being touched by him, by anyone for that matter. But I knew better than to fight him.

"Were you trying to make me jealous?"

I shook my head. I tried to speak, but the words couldn't escape the cavern in my chest. It was hard enough to breathe. A single tear fell, the mask no longer there to hide it. Ares grabbed my chin, forcing me to look at him. His eyes were back to the coal black, not the flames he had when he was angry.

"I don't understand you, agapi̱tós (dear). I've tried everything: being kind, mean, indifferent. I don't have to order you anymore. You find pleasure in our time together, do you not?" My eyes left him, a blush stealing my cheeks. I didn't want to answer. He was determined to humiliate me, to make me feel the lowest I had ever felt.

"Pleasure isn't the same as enjoyment," I murmured as the pain began to fill in my head from my delayed answer.

"But I give it to you, all the same," he whispered as his hand drifted down to my neck. "I care enough to ensure you receive something in return. Can't you see that?"

"If you really cared, you'd let me say no."

"You can say no, but you haven't lately. You no longer fight me. You haven't fought me for over two hundred years now. Your will is breaking, Euadne."

My temper was getting the best of me. The rage bubbled up so fast, like a wave crashing. It was violent, like the ones from storms. I should've kept my mouth shut. He was making me sound as if I wanted him doing this to me, and it made me sick.

"What's the point of fighting? If I did, we both know you'd order me to stop. You don't care if I say no, you never have," I spat.

Ares leered into me, his breath hitting me in the face. My back pressed into the wall, his hand most likely leaving bruises on my arms. "You want me. Admit it."

I looked into his eyes. I was ordered to tell the truth when I spoke to a god and admitting that was a lie.

"I can't lie, Lord Ares. I have never wanted you. And I will never change my mind, no matter what you do."

The flames returned to his eyes. He threw me against the mirror in his room, which fell with me and shattered. I felt a pain along my shoulder, and before I had a chance to get up or realize what I had done, Ares had his hand around my throat. He lifted me so our gazes were level, my hands trying to pry his from my throat.

"You don't want me? Fine. I'll make your life such a living hell, you will be begging for a respite. I will break you; you will be begging for things to go back to the way they were."

He dropped me to the floor, leaving without another word.

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I wasn't even aware of where I was walking to. I had a bottle of wine in one hand, a full glass in another. I came to the garden on the back edge of Olympus. The immortals didn't often come to this side of the floating island, and it was a blessing to get away. It was my little Eden when I wasn't allowed to leave Olympus.

I sat on the edge of the rock, my feet dangling and looking at the city below. I finished the glass, setting it beside me. I put the bottle to my lips, trying to fill the cold hole in my chest with a little bit of the alcohol's warmth.

I didn't take Ares's threat likely. He would make my life miserable, and I was scared how he would do it. Would he continue to take advantage of me, punish me or force me to do things that I would never do? I had thought that it couldn't get any worse, but I wondered…With him, I bet it could.

The bottle was back at my mouth, and I was taking large gulps. I stood up, pacing along the wall. There was no way out. I couldn't commit suicide; they had ordered that I wasn't allowed. I might be able to manage to fight the pain long enough, but I doubted it. The pain I got when I disobeyed an order was awful. I had tried to fight it and failed miserably. Tears were falling hard and fast down my face. I peered over the ledge, just thinking for a minute how easy it would be to jump.

Would the pain stop me before I hit the ground?

Could I even do it?

Pain flashed through my head at the thought, and I chucked the bottle as hard and far as I could. The tears increased, my body trying to compensate for the pain I was experiencing. I leaned against the wall, letting them fall freely. There was no one to see me in my moment of weakness.

I didn't think this is what I signed on for when I gave up my life for my brother's or to ensure my friends wouldn't be punished. I felt so trapped. I was losing who I was, and that scared me most of all.

"And here I thought I would not see you again this evening!"

My body jumped, thinking that Ares had come back for round two, but I realized that it wasn't his voice I heard. It was Apollo's. I gripped the ledge, quickly wiping the tears from my face. I couldn't show any weakness around the Olympians. They would just use it to their advantage, just like Ares had. I had to pull myself together.

"I did not know you wanted me, my Lord," I managed to get out. My voice sounded way too thick for my taste. "You could have summoned me." I wonder what exactly he wanted. Apollo barely paid attention to me; then again, most of them barely paid attention to me. He was one of the Olympians that requested my help the least. Apollo had come to stand beside me, but I kept my gaze out over the ledge, trying to keep him from seeing my face until the tears dried. We stood that way for a minute, the tension building between us.

"Euadne, look at me," he commanded softly. I wasn't ready. My breath caught, and I knew I had to steel my emotions. The words that had been my mantra were already running through my head: _I gave up my will for a reason. I disobeyed orders, and I deserved to be punished. I did this for the greater good. I can help other demigods. I can help those who can't protect themselves. I can't throw my life away for something as selfish as my pain when I deserved it. _

I turned towards Apollo, hoping my eyes weren't as swollen and red as I feared they were. His eyes flashed to my arms and rested on my shoulder, where a small peek of the cut Ares's mirror left showed. I tried to hide them, curling in on myself. It wasn't terribly deep, and I could treat it when I got home.

"What happened?" he asked me. I could hear the concern in his voice, which bothered me for some reason.

"Nothing, my Lord," I quickly explained. I had learned I had to twist the truth a little. I couldn't tell anyone about what Ares had done to me, even if they asked. That command warred with Apollo's request. To Ares, I was nothing.

"Nothing," he scoffed, looking at me in disbelief. "It does not seem like nothing. What happened to you?"

I knew I wouldn't get away with not answering, I could see it in his eyes.

"I-I just had to d-deal with a monster, that's all," I whispered. Ares was a monster. They sent me to kill monsters all the time, it was one of the things that I did more often. It was believable. Apollo nodded his head and stepped to the other side of me, picking up my empty wine glass.

"Sit."

I did as he asked, worried that I was about to get questioned. I didn't know what he was thinking. Would he order me to tell him? Would he realize I couldn't and spare me from the pain. Apollo sat beside me and waved his hand, making another glass and bottle of wine appear in his hands. He filled each of them up, handing my glass back to me.

"Thank you." I took a tentative sip, and his hand reached for me. Was this yet another god who wanted something from me that I wasn't willing to give? I fought flinching from him. He hadn't been forward like Ares, hadn't made any propositions at all. I shouldn't make assumptions, but it didn't stop the fear. His eyes locked with mine, and he trailed his hand along my shoulder and arm, healing the bruises and the cut. Shock and disbelief roared through me.

"You did not have to do that, Lord Apollo. I am grateful," I stuttered. I took a sip of my wine while organizing my thoughts. I didn't understand what he was doing, why he was being kind to me. I was looking for an ulterior motive, but I couldn't see anything apparent. I looked down at the city below, the fires giving light to the streets.

"Are you thinking of jumping?"

"Yes, I was," I replied without thinking.

Terror, as fresh as I felt earlier, tore through me. I had been so use to telling the truth for so long when I was around them, I didn't have a filter. I put my hand to my mouth, the blush on my cheeks revealing my embarrassment. I had shown weakness in front of a god, and now I would pay for it. "I-I'm so sorry, Lord Apollo, it w-was not my place-" He looked at me in shock, and I swore I saw disgust on his face. The words died from my lips, and once again, I was fighting tears. I looked away, wishing that I could just disappear. Maybe he would push me off the wall and save me from all this trouble.

"Why would you want to end your life? There must be a reason. Do you wish to escape your curse?"

I quickly glanced at him, taking a hurried sip of my wine. My whole body was shaking, and I was trying to control it. What could I say? I detested being Ares's plaything, and I felt worse than dead. I couldn't tell him those things, but something in his gaze spoke to me. I didn't mind telling him what part of the truth I could.

"No, my Lord. I wish neither of those things. I deserved my curse, and I would gladly take it again. I value my life, and the things that I can do with it. When I die is up to the Fates, not to me," I declared. I drained what was left in my glass, embarrassed for the truthfulness of my statement. I looked down at my feet, but he took the glass out of my hand before I could set it down. He filled it back up, and as he handed it to me, my skin touched his. They were still just as warm as his hands when he held me while we were dancing. I hesitantly met his gaze, the blush on my cheeks darkening. In that moment, I missed being loved. The kindness in his eyes just made the ache worse. I was tired of feeling utterly alone. I missed Bear's warm embrace, the way he arms would wrap around me and make the world and all its problems disappear for a moment. I missed being able to talk to my brother and the others with no fear of how they would react. I wanted someone who was on my side again.

But that would never happen.

"Then why even think about it?"

"Because…" But I wasn't entire sure. I want to jump, to escape the pain, but it wasn't really why I had considered it. I felt trapped and lost, and for a second, even the last minutes of my life, I wanted to feel like me again. "It would be my choice. I would be free for a few moments, and freedom is a tempting thing, my Lord."

He stared at me, the kindness in his eyes turning to a sad understanding. They weren't full of pity, which I was thankful for. "Don't ever think a thought like that again. Never throw away your life willingly, understand me?" he warned.

"Yes, Lord Apollo. I understand," I vowed. It was quiet for just a few minutes, and we both sat there in the silence as we finished our glasses. I could feel his eyes on me, searching for answers that I wasn't sure I could give him.

"I like you, Euadne," he whispered, his tone slightly surprised. I couldn't stop the smile. He reminded me of my friends, of my brother. Maybe he wanted more from me, but I had a feeling that he didn't. For some odd reason, I trusted him… at least a little. "You would never jump. You wouldn't be able to do it, not just for yourself, but for others. "

"You are right," I agreed. "I would not."


End file.
